LOL

So, I was trying to think of a name for the blog and I settled on Too Much Information for obvious reasons.  Anyone who’s ever spoken with me for longer than 30 seconds has probably thought:  “Holy Crap!  Why is he telling me this?  Stop!”  I’m the king of too much information.  I realize this, but it’s just too funny to stop.

Anyways, as I was thinking of a name, my train of thought led me to think of different texting/chatting acronyms.  I thought LOL would be a good one, because I try to be funny.  Then I started thinking about LOL.  Laugh Out Loud.  Everyone….right now, do a quick tally in your brain how many times you have typed or texted “LOL”.  Alright…now think how many times you typed LOL that you ACTUALLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD in response to whatever was so funny.  I’m going to go out on a limb and guess it isn’t very often, if ever. 

Someone types something funny, and we respond with “LOL”, apparently saying that is was so freaking funny that we couldn’t contain ourselves and broke out laughing wherever we were.  Imagine if this were true…if people actually laughed out loud every time they typed that they were laughing out loud, we would see people laughing all the time.  At their desks at work, walking down the street, in the grocery store…everyone would just be walking around laughing to themselves like crazy people. 

What people are really trying to say when they say “LOL” is that they found something to be funny.   Not necessarily, Laugh Out Loud funny, but funny nonetheless.   The problem is that we only have an acronym for something that is crazy laugh out loud funny, but we don’t have a good acronym for normal funny.   This is where we make our mark on American culture.  I think we need to come up with an acronym for normal funny.  I know sometimes people type “hahaha”.  This is useful because you can increase the number of “ha’s” depending on how funny something is.  “hahahahahahahahaha” is obviously more funny than “haha”.  (by the way, if you are chatting or texting in spanish, it’s “jajajaja”.  I’m serious.)  I think this is the best alternative to LOL.  It feels a little more juvenile, but it is more accurate, and more flexible.  Are there any better alternatives? How about “LIMHBIAAWACLOLOPWKIACAIGF”, which stands for “Laughing In My Head Because I Am At Work And Can’t Laugh Out Loud Or People Will Know I Am Chatting And I’ll Get Fired”?

Anyways, all I’m saying is I feel disingenuous when I type LOL even though I didn’t’ really laugh out loud.  There’s got to be a better way

New Blog

I started blogging not too long ago when I thought I was going to be raising triplet daughters.  The purpose of my blog was intended to share pictures and stories with my family and close friends.  It quickly became inappropriate to post pictures and stories of the babies once a DNA test revealed I was not the father of the babies.  As a result, it became a place for me to share my random opinions and observations...just like any other blog.   I may not have triplet daughters, but I still have opinions.  It's probably self indulgent, but no one is making you read it! Hopefully I can be more honest and forthright in this blog than in the previous one and hopefully this blog is never discovered by the individuals that I may discuss.  

I included the last post on my previous blog that I removed at the request of my ex-wife.  Also because I found it very creepy that the D-bag who knocked up my ex-wife with triplets was reading my blog.

Unconditional Love

Most people who read this know I've been dealing with some stuff lately. I’m trying to work through this concept, so bear with me and let me know if you have any insight...any comments are welcome.  I’m trying to figure out how love gets turned on/off, specifically concerning relatives. For whatever reason, generally speaking, you automatically love your family, even if for no other reason than they are family. Your family is your family. Even if you have nothing in common with a brother or sister or don’t even get along with them, you still love them. Now taking that to the next level, when you have children, you love them instantly. Before they are even born, you love them. The second they leave the womb, you feel a bond to those children that only a parent can really understand. Even if those children end up as murderers, you will still love them.

What is that bond? Why do you love children so much? Many will probably answer that the instant connection is partly due to the fact that they are something you helped create, they share your genetic material, and consequently, they are part of you. However, this doesn’t account for the tremendous love and bond that parents who adopt feel for their children. They feel the same connection and love for their children even though they don’t have a blood or genetic connection, so that can’t really be the cause for such tremendous love.

A more likely reason that the love between parent and child is so strong is due to the responsibility bestowed on the parent to care for, nurture, and teach the child. I think the love is a result of the dedication, sacrifice and responsibility involved with raising a child.

So, what I’m trying to wrap my head around is…let’s say you have children. You were there every step of the pregnancy, watched them be born, and experienced that instant connection with your babies. You love them unconditionally and would do anything for them. Then it turns out they aren’t your children. You have no genetic connection to them whatsoever. But you still love them just as much. Your feelings for the babies didn’t change at all. Then it turns out you have no legal, financial or any other responsibilities for the children. Now what? Your feelings still don’t change. You still love the babies just as much. Why? So it isn’t the genetic connection or the responsibility causing it. There must be something else causing this connection. Where does this come from? How do you turn it off? Should you turn it off or even want to turn it off? How can you have the unconditional love of a parent one day, and then remove it the next day? That’s the problem with unconditional love…its unconditional. It’s a crazy emotional conundrum where an unconditional emotional bond was created under false pretenses, but since the bond in unconditional, it can’t be removed, even once the conditions of that bond being developed are determined to be false. You can’t stop caring about someone it’s unhealthy to care for. It’s like emotional check-mate. What do you do with that?

Dancing - Visual Noise

On Friday night, I was sick of sitting at home alone feeling sorry for myself, so I drove around and ended up going to a dueling piano bar not too far from my house. I just sat in the corner by myself, drinking some water and listened to the music. A couple observations from that evening:

Observation 1:
Dancing is weird. I’m not just talking about specific dances like the lawn mower or roger rabbit or running man or worm or sprinkler – all of which were on display at the piano bar – I’m talking about the concept of dancing in general. I realize I’m the minority and that most humans enjoy dancing in some form or another, but I really just don’t get it. I’m perfectly content to keep my arms tucked nicely by my side and can’t imagine a scenario where I feel like I would want to express myself by flailing my arms over my head.

This is the thing…I understand and appreciate dance as an art. I enjoy watching professionals dance in dance concerts or ballet or whatever, and can appreciate the immense athleticism, talent, and dedication it takes to become a good dancer and perfect the art. That’s not what I’m talking about. You see, I was a music major in college and I feel there are lots of parallels between becoming a good musician and a good dancer (sans the athleticism). Both require natural talent coupled with years of practice and study to develop the skills. What I’m talking about are people who go out on dance floor in public and start moving their bodies in crazy, awkward and silly ways that is just plain weird. Does that really make people happy? How is that enjoyable? I think I’m just missing that gene, because I swear and don’t ever remember a time where I enjoyed dancing. Heck, I don’t remember a time where I danced without being forced to in order to conform to social norms. I’ve certainly never been in a situation where I was in a room full of people, listening to music, and thought to myself, “You know what? This music is great and all, and there is a nice beat, but I feel like the experience just isn’t quite complete….maybe if I start gyrating and throwing my arms in the air and spinning around it’ll fill the void I feel right now…shoot, maybe it would be even better if I did it in close proximity to other people…”

Clearly, this only worsens after people have started drinking and lose their inhibitions, which clearly God gave to us on purpose to prevent us from acting like uncoordinated monkeys in front of other people. Inhibitions are good. They keep us from doing stupid things.

If you go back to the similarities between dancing and music, watching a professional dance concert or recital is like listening to a professional musician. It’s great, inspirational, and beautiful. Going to a club, or dance, or party….it’s basically like having grown adults walk up to a piano in the room and just start banging on it like a 3 year old kid. It’s not enjoyable. Imagine you are at a club, hanging out, and there is a piano in the room. You’ve never taken a piano lesson and don’t know how to play, but you walk up to it anyways and just start banging on it, with a huge smile on your face, having the time of your life while everyone else laughs. THAT’S WHAT DANCING IS! VISUAL NOISE! Then, while you are banging on the piano, you make contact with a girl or guy and they walk over to you and sit next to you and start banging on it next to you…a terrible duet. That’s what I felt like watching these drunk people dance together at the club.

Observation 2: As clearly evidenced by the rant on dancing above, I’m a boring person. It’s just the way I am. I won’t dance, I’ll never sing karaoke, and I’m just not the type of person to sit a table of friends a laugh and have a good time. That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy myself and am not happy, I just don’t demonstrate it like most the world seems to. I wish I weren’t so boring, but it doesn’t seem likely to change. So, if I’ve ever been in a social setting with you in the past and was totally boring, I’m sorry. I’m just missing that gene I guess.