Worst Sunday School Teacher EVER

A couple weeks ago in church the lesson in Sunday School related to Saul. This brought back fond memories of when I had to give that same lesson in a Sunday School for the singles ward about 5 years ago. (For those of you who may be reading this and are not Mormon, a singles ward is a congregation that consists of only single people with the hopes that you’ll fall in love long enough to eventually settle with one of the other singles. After about 6 months in one of these wards, eternity with anyone seems like a better option than going to one more singles dance. It’s a highly effective way to get people married off). I remember giving this lesson specifically because I was immediately fired after the lesson…and it isn’t easy to get fired in church. I didn’t read the lesson beforehand so I had the class start reading 1 Samuel Chapter 9 out loud. When we got to 1 Samuel 9:3, I decided to “apply the scripture unto myself” and made a brilliant analogy on how that scripture refers to the purpose of the singles ward and refers to the task the church had assigned to us at that point in our lives. I even elaborated on how that verse highlights the importance of wingmen (in that you should never seek asses alone). They never let me teach another Sunday school lesson.

To save you time, 1 Samuel 9: 1-3 is as follows:
1Now there was a man of Benjamin, whose name was Kish, the son of Abiel, the son of Zeror, the son of Bechorath, the son of Aphiah, a Benjamite, a mighty man of power.
2And he had a son, whose name was Saul, a choice young man, and a goodly: and there was not among the children of Israel a goodlier person than he: from his shoulders and upward he was higher than any of the people.
3And the asses of Kish Saul's father were lost. And Kish said to Saul his son, Take now one of the servants with thee, and arise, go seek the asses.