Cancer Survivor

Since the blog is new, I'm still catching up on some old news. As of two weeks ago, I am proud to announce I am a cancer survivor! Over the last couple weeks, I have reevaluated the meaning of life, learned to live every moment as if it were my last, and have dug down deep to summon an inner strength I didn't know I had to overcome obstacles against all odds. Okay, that is a little exaggerated - I always knew I had tremendous inner strength.

I have had a spot next to my left eye for the last 4 years or so and my brother has the same thing. My brother called me up a few weeks ago and told me he finally had it checked out and it was basal cell cancer and had to have it removed. Obviously, I figured that since I had a very similar spot in the exact same place I probably had cancer as well and figured I would have it checked out as well.

Now, having cancer is not a surprise. I grew up in California and Florida and actually enjoy being sunburned. I had a sever sunburn at least 4-5 times a year for as long as I can remember. I always knew I'd end up with skin cancer, I was just hoping I'd be a little bit older when I got it. It turns out the spot next to my eye is "pre-cancer" but I had a spot on my sternum that was basal cell cancer. I had that removed last week.

In hind-sight, I don't know why I had it removed. I think cancer is a huge conspiracy. I had this spot on my chest for years and never thought twice about it. It never hurt, didn’t' bother me, and I am not in good enough shape to go anywhere with my shirt off anymore anyways. Having cancer was painless and comfortable. On the other hand, having the cancer removed sucks. They basically numbed my chest by giving me around 10 shots of something, and then cut out a large chunk where the cancer was. I was able to look and it was kinda creepy seeing a hole in your chest but not feeling anything. The only part that hurt was the shots to numb me and about 5 hours after the surgery when it felt like I had been stabbed. The way the cut was made, the doctor told me to be very careful for the next 3-6 months and not do anything that stretches my chest, since the wound could stretch and open up. Coincidently, he cut a "y" shape in my chest and said if I do anything to open up the scar; it will just look like the star trek insignia. I've never been the coolest guy around, but I can't imagine having the star trek symbol cut in the middle of my chest would be a good thing. Anyways, back to the conspiracy. I'm convinced that there was no need whatsoever to remove that cancer from my chest. How do I even know it was cancer? They just told me it was cancer and told me I had to have it removed. Of course they want me to have it removed - that's how they make money! For all know, it was just a mole they cut off and made it look worse to scare me. All I know is I was fine for years, and all of a sudden my chest hurts, I have a large scar, and can't bench press. Something doesn't seem right.

I think the doctor was a little annoyed at how pleased I was to have cancer. I can't lie...a small part of me was feeling pretty smug about making my prediction of having skin cancer someday come true. I asked the doctor if I could participate in "walk for the cure" and he informed me that was breast cancer. He told me I could by a "livestrong" bracelet though and start riding a bike if it made me feel better! Of course that would make me feel better! I now proudly sport my bright yellow livestrong bracelet as I tell my inspiring tale of how I looked cancer in the eyes and said "NO!..I won't succumb to you! I won't allow you to create an unsightly spot on my chest that otherwise causes me no pain or discomfort and has no discernable negative effects whatsoever! I will defeat you and have you removed to prevent the miniscule chance that someday it might grow into a slightly larger unsightly spot on my chest that causes no harm...and also apparently to boost the local economy and help this dermatologist buy a bmw!"

I tried telling my wife that now I have a scar on my chest and she'll have a scar from the C-section - so we are even! I probably don't have to explain how strongly she disagrees.  On another side note...I have a check-up with my dermatologist next week and think it would be hilarious to get a really bad sunburn before my appointment just to see his face.